“I poured everything I had into you, and you were still empty.” by Iviva Olenick
(via audiotapes)
I think what hurts the most
is knowing I mean so much less
to you
then you do
to me
and if I were to disappear
would you wonder about my absence?
would I cross your mind at all?
because every night I lay awake thinking of you
and wonder why I do this to myself
Heart beats counted
by the arteries
in our wrists,
through the veins
in your eyes.
sometimes people say:
“i feel like i have no friends”
“all i want are friends”
“i feel like i just annoy everyone”
and i know they are saying these things
out of self hate
and they plaster on disclaimers like
this isn’t everyone just most people
“don’t take it personally”
but how can i not?
when i give myself so little worth
and all i want is your friendship
it feels like an un-winnable battle
for your attention and affection
and i so easily fuck up
but i love you enough that
i can’t seem to let go
I’m scared
that you
don’t like
or think
of me
as much as,
I
like
and think
of you.
i want to die a million times over,
choking on the salts of embarrassment.
it wont take back the wrongs i’ve made,
the things i’ve said and the bonds
i carelessly destroyed by self-loathing.
but even this knowledge does naught
to the demons that feast on my worth
(via alaina-huffman)
i’m not sure what i want out of life but
it’s not this
Spoiler Alert: everyone’s life sucks
If I wrote a text post that got more than 1,000 notes, would I feel relief that there are other people that feel the same pain that I do?
